journal Amkr's humble planted tank

[amkr]

Lord of the Rectangle, A tail of two tanks

Once upon a time there was a boy names Mark and he decided he would like some tropical fishes in his bedroom.

For many years he kept and killed a variety of species, having no idea what he was doing. Eventually he grew weary of tank maintenance and became bored of the water filled rectangle. He dutifully fed its remaining inhabitants (3 neon tetras and a BN) and topped up their water, but the enthusiasm was gone. In truth, he was waiting for the day they stopped swimming so he could pack it all away and be done with it.

A few more years passed and the swimming inhabitants soldiered on, through algae, low water and days without food. It became clear to Mark that these fish had no intentions of floating anytime soon, this displeased him greatly. The thought of being forced to gaze upon the plain and barren rectangle brought forth a rage that he could not subdue.

"F**K THIS SH*T" he one day proclaimed. "If these lowly creatures will not perish, I will not endure this wretched glass box and its peasantly appearance any more!"

And he did not, he began planning and planning and reading and planning.. and then, the buying.

At first, it was some lily pipes, with their crystal glass and elegant appearance.

[amkr]

One morning, Mark decided he needed a light stand, one to hang lights from. "It shall be sleek, simple and useful" he said, and to Bunnings he went.

It was here that he discovered the Connect-It system, a simple, easy to use square alloy extrusion with plastic connectors. With this, he created his light stand, drilling holes for the power cable and running suspension cables for the fittings. And he saw it, and it was good.

He emptied his tank and moved the death-defying animals to a holding location while he renovated the entirety of their existance. "It will be good" he said, "with plants and rocks".

Reading his electronic scrolls and venturing far and wide to stores across the land (greater Sydney region) he found some rocks that he liked.

Mark chose Up-Aqua soil topped with Benibachi super powder as the base for his creation as he intended to plant plants and grow aquatic trees and carpets.

In one of his many adventures, he came across some HC at a price that needed no haggling. Mark spent many hours labouring over the glass rectangle with tweesers, "Gods my back does ache!" he complained, everytime he stopped to have some beer, which was frequently.

Satisfied with his efforts, he put up his feet and rested.

But the tank did not rest, for it had not seen Mark suffer enough yet. While he rested, his tank conspired against him, leeching all manner of things into the water.

Days past, weeks past and the tank leeched and leeched. Unawares Mark assumed his newly developed water wonderland was going through its cycle and soon he would be able to fill it with creatures of great wonder.

Until one day he tested the tank to check on the status of it's cycle. "What in seven hells" he proclaimed as he watched drop after drop of GH reagent fill the test tube. "its never going to change!" he said, adding more and more drops. Finally, the green tint came after 16 drops. Mark was displeased, more than displeased for he had seen some pretty shrimp that he had desired to include in his aquatic artwork. He consulted people far wiser than him, they suggested that the rocks he had chosen were not suitable and were leaking all manner of things into the water.

He waited and stewed and grew more and more angry with these rocks.

[amkr]

He ventured back to the bunnings with an idea in his head. Mark was not the most innovative of people, so when he had an idea, he knew he had to capitalize. "Frosted glass privacy film", he said repeatedly in his head, trying as hard as he could to remain focussed on the task at hand. You see, the bunnings was a large and mystical place that sucked in whole men and spat them out days later, often far poorer than they had arrived. "Frosted glass privacy film" he repeated, once at the bunnings though, he was lost, isles upon isles of goodies and gadgets! Ropes and Buckets and Bricks and Wood, thousands of delightful things that Mark had neither the use or space for. 3 Days later he exited the bunnings, stumbling, shading his eyes from the unfamiliar sunlight. Clutched in his right hand a roll of Frosted glass privacy film, in his right, a basket of things he would never use.

He still could not look at the tank, for the sight of his toxic rocks angered him. To take his mind off his rock problem, he ventured out to far away Lansvale where he sought a Co2 setup to assist in the growth of his newly planted landscape. He left, with less gold than he arrived with but with him he carried a 1L Co2 bottle with Dici regulator and Solenoid. "This outta do it" he said as he carried his goods out to his cart (a borrowed sisters barina :sour:). It was soon installed and running with a rather pretty glass diffuser. He gazed at his creation and couldn't feel the happiness he desired, for the rocks in the tank mocked hims, meanwhile the plants he painstakingly planted, grew.

"ENOUGH" he declared at the inanimate objects, as if to illicit some response. I will fix this and I will fix this grandly. He measured and planned and measured again, he had plans to modify his stand at first. For the plans to follow would not be suitable for a stand so poor. He returned to the bunnings, focused and determined and left with nothing but the wood he arrived for. He measured and cut the wood and placed it into his stand "F********************" he stated, for his measuring was bad and his cutting was worse. Mark was determined though, and determination is a strong driving force. So he sanded and sanded and sanded some more, micrometers at a time reducing the sections of wood that did not fit. Eventually though, he prevailed and the wood was suitably sized. He painted his new stand a shade of grey, because the ones on his electronic scrolls looked "F**king badass".

Mark decided he would purchase new rocks, ones bigger and better than the ones he already had! So again, he trekked far and wide in search of new rocks, new, non-reactive rocks, rocks that would not poison his tank with karbonate & General Hardness. He eventually found his desired rock and he arranged it in his tank, somewhat hurriedly and in a manner not to disturb the growth of his plants.

He was not happy with this though, it looked plain and dull. Mark was not a fussy man, but the hard work he had put in and the gold he had spent has left him with a sour taste in his mouth, this was not the tank he had envisaged, not at all.

2 weeks passed and his anger with his tank grew and grew. The tank needed interest, depth, character, it felt so flat and lifeless. So he sat and thought and hatched another plan. He drained all the water from the glass rectangle and he began to work, tearing up plants hundreds at a time, stirring up dirt and rubble, scraping away the entire landscape. He had realised the enormity of the task when it came to re-planting the green carpet he had removed, again he laboured over the glass, swearing and complaining like last time, only this time he drank cider.

He looked at his work, and for the first time, he was pleased and it was good.

[torface]

LOL what a delightful story

Next chapter please

[ineke]

Yes looking forward to the rest of the story:D

[amkr]

RESUMED HERE (because people can reply before I can reserve posts :p)Mark surveyed his landscape and considered giving himself an honorary title for his lands, "lord Mark of glassrectangleland" had a nice ring to it but apparently the paperwork got lost on a raven or something.

During his routine observation he discovered something ghastly, something vile. Algae! He had signed a paper outlawing algae from the lands just last week, the insolence of this organism!

Searching for the reason behind his algae outbreak, Mark decided he deserved a new filter. His old Aquis 500 was a slow and tired workhose, giving the tank little more than a dribble out of the end of his lily pipes. Compounded by the addition of an inline reactor, his filter was pumping nought.

So he read his electronic scrolls and consulted people wiser than him and heeded none of their advice, instead opting to get the most ridiculous filter he could imagine, one with features and gadgets that would remain forever untouched. He ventured far to Alexandria and returned home with an Eheim Pro 3E and a Hydor inline heater. His new filter dwarfed his old, like a Stallion would a pony.

Transferring as much media as possible, he setup his new filter and sandwiched it into his tank. Mark was unsure on the size of his stand when he purchased the filter. Holding it next to the stand made him nervous, but he persisted and it fit.. albeit tightly.

Testing the tank more frequently, Mark he had found there was still something poisoning the water. His GH rose to 8 quite quickly and hit a plateau around 10, this was not suitable for the shrimp he desired. Another adventure was needed, but he was weary and the journey to Auburn was long and treacherous. He delayed it a week, but eventually he knew he needed to make the trek, arriving home from Auburn a few hours later with 25L of Magic RO water, he began the process of draining part of the tank and adding the RO water. When it was completed, his parameters were alot better, but deep down he knew they would rise again. He suspected the cause to be a layer of AR Aquasoil he had laid down beneath the UP Aqua soil and Benebachi, but it was too difficult far too deep beneath the substrate for him to remove so he resigned to leave it and keep shrimp of a lesser grade.

Attending a meeting of fellow keepers of glass water rectangles, he returned with several cheeply priced items. A 3x24W T5HO light being one, a glass thermometer being another. Most interesting of all where the gifts he received for being at the right place at the right time. Somehow Mark was on the receiving end of 10 cherry red shrimps and a bunch of rather fitting plants. He rode his Corolla branded Horse home as carefully as he could, being as gentle as possible to his new aquatic possessions.

He acclimatized them as he had been instructed, over several hours, drip by drip by drip. This was a necessary process that unfortunately resulted in a large number of trips to the toilet. Drip. Drip. Drip. But they went into the tank eventually, along with the 3 neon tetras from the spare tank. They moved and interacted with the world he had created, crawling over rocks, under plants and across the grass, Mark was delighted with their behavior and watched for many hours, smiling.

But one thing bothered him, the fish seemed to struggle against the current, they had no respite from the water flowing from the filter. Again, consulting the wise people from the electronic scrolls he discovered the cause of his problem. In order to utilize his existing lily pipes, Mark had to step down the 16mm hose to 13mm improving the water velocity. He was shown long and complicated formulas explaining the issue, but these mathematical formulas had letters for numbers and brackets mixed through, this was not Marks strong point and he developed a headache. But he smiled, nodded and pretended to understand as to not look like a fool, despite his lack of understanding, one thing shone through.. he needed bigger pipes.

Meanwhile Mark decided to sell off some unwanted items from previous iterations of his glass water rectangle. A sad choice was made to give away his faithful BN, 4 years of ownership and he had seen it only a handful of times between trips under driftwood. He would miss it, but it was not suitable for his green plant carpet and the BN would be better housed elsewhere.

Upon listing one of these items, a person by the name 2OFUS contacted me asking if Mark would be willing to barter a fluuval Co2 system for some shrimp. Intruiged by the proposition and excited by the prospect of owning more shrimps, he agreed and they organised to make a trade. This time Mark rode a borrowed Barina branded horse (how manly...) Carefully guiding it along the trail home, he acclimatized them as he did before and gently added them to his land.

[Squiggle]

Nice story so far dude, the tank looks awesome too, hopefully you get the rocks sorted out soon :victorious:

[ineke]

You are all going to get in trouble here Mark doesn't want comments until he's finished cant you take a hint:cower:

[mr_c265]

Trust me, this story is a good, long and funny one.

[northboy]

I know we are not to say any thing yet, but what a way to do a tank journal DAM good and funny, cant wait for more

PSS more beer = less back pain

Bob

[Heavyd]

Not to disturb the artist at work, but........

I like it.

Please continue with your wordsmithing oh enlightened one.

[amkr]

I think that brings me up to date..

That was bloody challenging :p

[mr_c265]

I know we are not to say any thing yet' date=' but what a way to do a tank journal DAM good and funny, cant wait for more

PSS more beer = less back pain

Bob[/quote']

Not if you have to go down the shops and buy another 2 cases :p

[Squiggle]

Lol, very cool dude, can't wait for the next installment, very innovative journal idea, should have called it "Lord of the Rectangle, A tail of two tanks" hahaha

[amkr]

DONE!

Thats a brilliant title!

I like writing logs/journal like things creatively. Half the fun is writing about it :p You should see the log for my car, it was pretty outrageous :p

[ineke]

Awesome story well done Mark! Only problem I see is you will have to go through it all again because believe me though I say it gently YOU WILL NEED MORE TANKS:encouragement:

[Squiggle]

Awesome dude, I literally lol'd when I saw it

[MrShrimp]

That was a well written story and it got better as you read it. Thanks for entertaining me.

[Neo-shrimp]

Thank you Mark for the delightful & entertaining shrimp journal...Enjoyable reading :encouragement:

[2OFUS]

Is this your add by any chance

http://m.gumtree.com.au/v?adId=1007827310

[amkr]

no, but I like his style!

[Garnelchen]

Oh...are we allowed to post now? :congratulatory:

[samwise]

Thanks for sharing,

more to come?

[amkr]

No more I'm afraid.

We're up to date so that would make it a little hard to write continue writing it in past tense :p

I'll keep it updated in a less insane writing style though, hopefully remaining somewhat entertaining.

[Squiggle]

Noooo! keep the insane style! WE WANT INSANE! WE WANT INSANE!